A Smile Can Change Everything

Before we get started…

During a #4OCFpln Voxer conversation a couple weeks ago, Naomi Austin made this statement, “Be the reason that somebody smiles today.” Throughout the morning there were lots of acknowledgments within the group about how we so often do that for one another.

We have tremendous influence on others and I think that a simple smile can be a way to use that influence to seed positivity and love in others and in our world. That idea has resonated deeply for me. Perhaps it has to do with the theme that ‘relationships are everything” that has surfaced repeatedly this summer in my work with colleagues at @RowlandSchools and at @RascalPride. That theme is also central in books I read over the summer (The Innovator’s Mindset, Culturize, The Pepper Effect, Lead With Culture). Just this morning, Amy Storer referred to #positivenoise, an @adobespark remix campaign that Claudio Zavala Jr. started. There it was again: smiles, positivity, connecting with others, and relationship building.

The post below is an expansion of a message I sent to my staff yesterday to launch our first day of school on Monday, August 13. My wish is that those who read it take the message to heart with kids they serve, their loved ones, and all those they interact with. Let’s Be the reason that somebody smiles today.”

 

Give the Gift of a Smile Often

Teachers and staff, this is going to be an amazing year!  I can’t wait to see all the smiles that will light up the faces of our students and parents on Monday and continue every day of the school year. Every time you see a child or adult smile, you are in the presence of a special moment for him or her. Yes, every time, no matter how small the moment. Each smile is significant. Each smile is powerful. Each smile can be transformative. Let’s smile often and direct that smile towards others. How many times have you seen a child change their demeanor because something made her smile. Isn’t it magnificent? You can feel the positive energy radiate from the child. I bet you have experienced that moment too. Those times you were feeling down, having a rough day, or maybe you were just super focused and busy. And then that smile came and changed everything. All because of a kind word, a token of appreciation, a high five or hug. Someone gave you a gift that became your smile. And in that moment your life was different. You might be thinking, “Wait, a smile doesn’t change everything. It doesn’t change the reality or circumstances we may be facing.” Before you stop your thinking on that point, I ask that you consider that any moment can be a beginning, a beginning that can change a trajectory. And that can be everything for a student, friend, or loved one.

Let’s consider a smile a gift that we can share. We are in the life changing business. Let’s give the gift of a smile often and magnify the power of a smile with a kind word, a heartfelt gesture, or a physical touch. Let’s be the reason that someone smiles today and every day.

Let’s Catch Up, What’s New With You?

Before we get started…

I shared previously about my apprehension for writing, that blogging is definitely outside my comfort zone, and that I have been inspired to write and blog by all the wonderful educators in the #4OCF Voxer PLN. They have become my PLF (Personal Learning Family coined by Sarah Thomas).

After I posted my first piece, Change The World: Pack A Parachute, I received lots of positive feedback and many friends advised me to keep writing. I was moved by the comments I received, thank you to everyone who took the time to read it. I have chosen to continue writing and posting, even though there’s a voice inside me who screams not to and looks for any excuse to fill my time with anything other than writing (someone please cancel my Netflix).

In preparation of the coming school year, I recently sent a newsletter to staff communicating our theme of relationships. I am expanding on that communication in this post as a way to add some thoughts and be intentionally vulnerable. Why vulnerable you may ask? Well, I am working on some of the characteristics that George Couros identifies for an Innovator’s Mindset, particularly, empathy, risk taking, and reflective. You can read about all 8 characteristics here.

My Recent Newsletter: What’s New With You?

One of the major themes this school year will be relationships. We will learn more about that in coming weeks, but I want you to know that I am pledging to reframe what I do and how I do it with regard to relationships.

But first, I have to tell you why. I have “preached” many times how important knowing your why is. For everything we do in our school, there must be a why. Since we serve children, the why should be about them. I recently wrote a blog (my first ever!) and put it out there on the internet. If you haven’t come across it on Social Media, you are welcome to read it here. Here are the why’s I listed for myself in the post:

      – My why is about relationships and connections.

      – My why is about being my best self and encouraging others to do the same.

      – My why is about optimism, hope, and possibility. (I forgot to include  having FUN)

      – My why is about changing the world one tiny step at a time.

So, my why for relationships is all those points above plus the fact that we have to connect with people as humans before anything else. When we have a positive relationship with someone, our feelings of trust, confidence, empathy, and respect all increase. We feel more comfortable about taking risks with or for people we have good relationships with.

If I don’t know things about you as a person, shame on me. In that scenario, I have missed opportunities to learn about you and connect with you.  How could I ask you to do your best and be your best if I don’t genuinely make you believe I care about you. My words, actions, sincerity, tone, and more will reveal how much I care. And guess what?  I believe I have dropped the ball on that front many times and I must get better. There’s a running joke between Sonya (my wife) and I related to me crying when I watch some movies. She half laughs and half shakes her head because I get emotional over the silliest things on the screen, but MUCH less so in real life. I think she says something like, “You’re ridiculous.” And she is totally right. There’s a wall inside me that goes up from time to time and this slows down my connecting with others. I hope you’d agree that I’m not as bad as the Grinch and that my heart does not need to “grow threes sizes.” Clearly, I have some work to do. I know that if I am better at showing empathy and relating with others at our school, those actions will have a positive impact.

So, back to my pledge. I am going to have a daily goal related to relationships. This is not to say that I haven’t had this goal in the past. It is a reframing effort and action. I am going to double down on relationships. I have specific goals that are actionable and that I will monitor. In other words, I have a vision and a plan so I live into the vision. I hope that over time this year you will be able to say, “My principal cares about me. I know this because…” I have no doubt that if I succeed, the effort will resonate in your heart and it will positively impact your work in our school. If I fail, please tell me. I would much prefer you tell me directly, but I will distribute a survey to should you prefer to tell me anonymously.

So, what’s new with you? I am looking forward to seeing you soon, discovering that, and working on my relationship with you.

Postscript

A couple of days after sending the communication above to my staff, I had the pleasure of attending a keynote by Sir Ken Robinson at the Better Together California Teachers Summit at Cal State Fullerton. Sir Ken Robinson spoke about the need for transformation in education. Below are some of the points he shared (I apologize in advance if I have any of it wrong):

    Teachers have become content providers. Teaching is not like Fedex, it is not a  content delivery system. Education is a relationship, not a delivery system.

    Human resources are a lot like natural resources…

          – they are diverse.

          – they are hidden below the surface.

          – they must be developed and refined.

          – we must find a purpose for the resource.

    The heart of education must be the relationships between the teacher and student or between students. Everything else is inessential.

    Educators are in the miracle business.

 

As I consider my plans for building relationships with my staff, I believe I’m on the right track. My pledge to “reframe what I do and how I do it with regard to relationships” is essential. I also need to do the same with students and parents. My hope is that by committing to relationships, modeling it for others to see, and providing space and time for relationships in the fabric of our school, we will achieve a transformation together. Will you join me on this journey?    

 

Beliefs > Actions > Vision

Co-authored by John Martinez, Sarah Opatkiewicz, and John Staumont

At a recent retreat for administrators, the topic was leadership (what else?). One group presented how the media often portrays education (both teachers and administrators). Negative stereotypes are either the boring teacher (Ferris Bueller) or tyrannical principal (Lean On Me). Both portrayals belittle the work and effort that so many dedicated professionals pour into their work.

One important responsibility of the building principal is shaping a vision of academic success for all students. The question is, how does this happen? Does a principal give the mandate for the vision like Joe Clark, the principal in Lean On Me? Too often in the case of tyranny, the change and “vision” last as long as the leader is there or the leader finds themselves marching alone on to battle with their quest with no followers. We want the adults (and students) in the building to contribute to change with their thinking and perspective, so we hope that you’ll agree with us that this is a poor example of vision creation and delivery.

We probably can agree that a vision requires a brief statement that is future-oriented and requires the organization to truly stretch. This is a pie in the sky long-term goal. If the vision can be achieved in 12-18 months, then the vision was not lofty enough. Moving the organization toward the vision requires consistent and collaborative action. In turn, the daily actions of all stakeholders should be aligned and guided by the vision. However, do all the actions in every organization always align? Obviously not. Therefore, how do you get an alignment of actions to move toward the vision?

Most leadership literature speaks to the power of a collective vision within the organization. For a school, this primarily may be the teachers. However, there are many stakeholders within a school setting (Parents, classified staff, and students). As with a tapestry of many threads and colors, when more voices are interwoven into the process the work becomes more intricate and complex, but the end results more vibrant and beautiful.  Each of these groups is comprised of individuals with individual beliefs. Actions will spring from beliefs. The role of the leader is to help uncover those beliefs and help individuals bring them to the surface.

We can argue whether beliefs are binary or have varying degrees of influence. Some of us hold beliefs but do not always act on them in a binary fashion. My willpower for a bear claw while on a diet is much lower depending on circumstances (and the bakery). What do the people you work with believe? What do parents believe? What do students believe? How do you balance differing or conflicting beliefs within an organization? This exercise in itself can be powerful before you even embark on creating a vision.

Working through a process of gathering the voices of a larger group is time-consuming and will slow the process down. However, it is one way to ensure the voices of your stakeholders are heard and valued. When only a select group are involved in the process a whole section of stakeholders feels disconnected and possibly resentful of the vision. It also gives you a platform to communicate your beliefs and vision to your community. There is power in declaring publically what you believe and where you would like to take the organization. While not a vision, it does communicate your vision as the leader. People need to know you have one and this is a great opportunity.

With that background, we (three elementary principals) chose to communicate what we believe about learners (children and adults). We desire to begin our year declaring our beliefs so we can begin the conversation with our communities and develop our collective visions. At the same time, all three sites are focussing on writing for the coming year and believed it would be good to model what we are asking students to do (create and publish content to impact the world around us). Therefore, in keeping with our effort to shape our culture, promote our writing effort, and begin our visioning process, we would like to clearly communicate our beliefs for all learners.

Beliefs for ALL Learners:

  • Maslow before Blooms (safety, belonging, feeling successful before academic content)
  • We are a learning organization
  • Align our work to a shared vision
  • Relationships, Relationships, Relationships (it’s all about relationships)
  • Continuous growth (always build on successes and learn from failure)
  • Personalized Learning for adults and students
    • 5Cs: Collaboration, Critical Thinking, Communication, Creativity, and Curiosity
    • Differentiated to address interests and needs
    • Take ownership of your learning
    • Move from your point A to B (and so on)
    • Share your learning with others (connected)
    • Apply the learning
    • Voice and Choice
  • High expectations for self and others
  • Embrace a mindset for innovation and empowerment (shift away from compliance)
  • Know your “Why?”
  • Have fun

We understand this is a work in progress. You may find things that are unclear or that we omitted. You may find things you disagree with. We actually hope that is the case because diversity in ideas and discourse drive us to think more deeply, reconsider our views, and articulate our beliefs more clearly. As when reorganizing a home or restoring a car things tend to get messy before they get clear. The work continually refines itself and unveils omissions as a collective clarity is built. We invite you to review our beliefs and consider them along with your own beliefs on learning for all. Tell us what you believe we are missing. Ask for clarification. Point out the error of our ways. In the end, we want to have some discourse around important ideas so we can positively impact the lives of students and adults (all learners). If our role as principals is shaping a vision of academic success for all students, then we need honest feedback from all stakeholders in order to shape our own vision. Hopefully, the dialogue will also present an opportunity for others to explore their beliefs and join us in our efforts.

Mrs. Opatkiewicz is the principal of Shelyn Elementary in Rowland Unified. Shelyn is launching a Mandarin dual-immersion program. Follow her on Twitter @ShelynSharks.